I have often thought of sitting down and posting on my blog but stopping because I'm afraid that I may upset someone by what I have to say. Especially if it is a "yucky" feeling. When I write it is to sort out those emotions that go around and around in my head getting bigger and distorted like those "fun"mirrors in theme parks.
I find that putting it out there whether it be on paper or through a keyboard, put those thoughts in perspective sifting through what is fact or perception. At times the two are one in the same!
Not that I would ever intentionally write something to hurt or irritate anyone (I think! I guess time will tell) but sometimes people read into words you say or write and look for a deeper hidden meaning. I don't want to have to worry about that!
Not that I want to write moaning, groaning blog posts! I prefer to be optimistic. It's a damn site better than being the other.
So to summarize my wee rant, if you don't like what I write please don't read it. ;)
On to more interesting stuff....
I am now a part-time student studying for my Certificate in Fitness and a Duathlete! Both happened in the same week-last week. It was an elating and humbling process.
Certificate in Fitness is so where I am at, at the moment. I'm not sure what I am going to do with it? Whether I am going to pursue a career as a trainer or continue studying. After the Certificate I can do a Degree of Social Sciences at CPIT. I don't know yet and am not stressing about it. I have got to finish this course first.
It has been a VERY long time since I have been in a classroom environment where I am not someones Mum! To find out that I am not the only 40+ lady in the class was a HUGE relief. There is a great mix of people and everyone seems really nice.
The first class was Fitness Assessment. I managed to understand most of the words coming out of the lecturers mouth so walked away feeling pretty confident.
The next day Anatomy and Physiology two lectures an AM & a PM. I caught the bus to CPIT (the first time I have done that in probably 10 years) it was BLISS!!!
Got to my first lecture didn't get too confused but realised that I have HEAPS to learn.
Had lunch with my darling & nipped down to Rebel Sport (they were having a SALE!) It was about this time I started wondering if I missed some notes that I should have had before the next lecture-PANIC stations! Alan quickly sorted me out. Got to the next lecture feeling totally unprepared and flustered! The lecture was about cells. I walked out of that lecture with an headache!
I hate being unprepared!
Nevermind, shake it off because the next day is my first event! The Contact Women's TriSeries. I was doing the longer Duathlon (1.5km run, 20.8km cycle and 5km run). I had done the course 3 times in training. I felt fairly confident in myself that I was going to be ok and secretly hoping that I might even finish slightly close to the front of the pack. Yeah-No!
I didn't stick to any of my race plan and paid for it in the last lap! BUT I did complete it! And had the best support team I could ever have! My friends who raced with me were FABULOUS! My VERY pregnant friend who came to cheer us on was such a precious gift! I got txt that moved me to tears! My Alan is beyond words in his support!
To top it all off I was chosen as the most Inspirational Story. When you filled out your entry form you could put your story down. Mine was chosen and read out. Very humbling!
To all those who have taken the time to encourage, support and listen to me drone on about my runs, weights and fitness in general-THANK YOU! I really appreciate it! It made a HUGE difference to where I am and where I am headed!
Where am I headed?
I don't completely know!
Doing the race and the course is scary! At times I feel like I am a fraud and someone is going to come up to me point a finger and shout, "Hey YOU! You can't be here! You're not smart/fit/young enough to be doing that!"
That is a LIE a feeling of fear and insecurity that wants me to stop. Because I know (in my Knower) that I CAN do the course and I CAN do the race-
I AM doing it (by the grace of God)!!!
By me being set free to accomplish whatever is in my path then others can look at me and say, "Ang is doing it, I can too".
The key is to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep running MY race!!!
