Perspective, Choice & Attitude....

Ahhh, a moment to sit and ponder.
School holidays are lovely but there is a lot to be said for the normality of school life.
Perspective, Choice & Attitude.
Three pillars that effect my day and those around me! You know that saying....
"If the Mama ain't happy, nobodies happy."
 It rings so true. More positively, when I am happy and setting the tone of my home positively, EVERYONE is happy! And it sets off a ripple effect beyond our little house.
At the moment we are trying this new concept, "living within our means" and to be honest, it SUCKS! It is an all out civil war between instant gratification Ang (I Deserve it) and sensible self-controlled Ang (Is it a priority?) .
I want to be free of the debt and I know that the only way is be going thru the hard stuff. Saying No or Not Yet.
That is all well and fine, but doing it with a good Attitude-that becomes the challenge.  I am wanting to change my perspective of what is a need? What is truly important? Everything comes at a cost. Am I prepared to pay it? And if I choose it shouldn't I than be thankful for it?
This is where all my philosophies become rubber meeting the road moments.
With four sets of eyes watching me constantly I want to make sure I am walking the walk, not just spouting platitudes.
So, my choice is to keep looking up! Keep being thankful! See the beauty in the simplistic! Live in the moment and plan for the future.
And most of all having faith that if I keep doing what I can, God will do the rest!!!

"The person we truly are always emerges during a crisis."
J Meyer

Legacy...

There are many words in the English language I love...choc-o-late, poppet, wine, luxurious, pastry, decadent, smothered, passion, etc, Mine mostly have to to with food, either preparing it or eating it. Thats a whole other blog.
A word that grabs me by the collar and slaps me in the face is LEGACY. It is a thinking/action word. There is responsibility in it. It is directly linked to what I do today. Opposed to a feeling word like Love. Although I know Love is a choice (because there are many a days that I have to choose to love some people) but it is also tied in with so many "feelings".
Leaving a positive Legacy is a decision.
I often picture my life at the end (very Hollywood) and play it backwards. What do I see? What do I want to see?
Today I went to a farewell assembly for a teacher at my wee ones primary school. She has only been at the school for 3 years but it was apparent that the impact she has made on students, parent  and staff alike was a testimony to the word Legacy. She left a Miss B imprint on them. In a few months most people will have forgotten her and moved on but there will be a handful or several handfuls of people who will always have the touch of her on their life. It will have molded them in a way that no one else could have.
It is living outside of ourselves and beyond ourselves.
For me, I don't really know her, I have probably only said about 20 words to her in my life. I know Master 6 had a run in with her at school one day. She is the only teacher that has ever "told him off" and he was gutted!
What I am thankful for is that she showed me through her leaving how we can give and be richer for it.
Thats the legacy I choose.

Procrastination Vs Simplifying....

Something that I have learned about myself in the last year or so is that I hate to rush! That panicky feeling where you know that you cannot do the 101 different "important" jobs in the next 20 mins before you have to collect the kids from school.
I have always pushed myself to do so at a cost, or try to, fail miserably, grump around letting everyone know how hard I work and how little help I have. Woe is me and woe to them!
But lately I can't seem to get motivated to push so hard.
This week is a good example. Its not been a "normal" week with hubby and master 6 home on Monday, then grocery shopping on Tuesday and I had morning tea with a friend that I haven't seen for ages on Wednesday.
Suffice to say, the house is not looking in the tip top condition it should. Don't misunderstand I haven't done "nothing" by the time you get the washing sorted, dinner organized, back to the washing, pick up or drop of a few children, thats the day.
Now it is Thursday, and I don't have anything I have to do...well I did have to go and get a friends gift for her birthday tomorrow. I didn't have to spend as much time at the nick-nacky store as I did but I on a very go slow gear.
Now I am home and the job list is in front of me looming with jobs that appeal (organizing, baking, cooking, possibly putting items on Trade Me) and jobs that don't (mopping, dusting, bathroom, blah, blah, blah).
Even typing it out makes me tired.
I know that if I don't do them the world will not fall off its axis and everyone will live another day, albeit in a slightly grubby house.
BUT, will I be ok with it? Can I allow it?
Yep, not everyday but today I think I can. I'm tired of being super uptight woman with a very efficient clean house but a really sucky attitude.
I will do the jobs that NEED to be done and leave the others for another day. Most importantly, I will not second guess it, not justify it and not regret it.
I believe that my family will benefit from it. I know I will!
Cuppa anyone?

It's just a SHOW...

If I wasn't thrilled about the earthquakes before I down right loathe them now. Because of the brokenness of the city? No. The pain and destruction it caused? No. The disruptions that have accompanied them? No
Not because I am heartless and without feeling, but mostly those reasons haven't affected me personally. I have the global, "This is "tragic" feeling and inconvenient." But all in all I felt I have coped ok...until today.
I read on Facebook that the Food Show has been cancelled and burst into tears. Not the quiet gentle ones but the ugly cry with liquids oozing out of most facial orifices.
The Food Show has been my oasis on the horizon. If I can just get there all is ok and normal. Not to mention all the cooking toys, cook books, demonstrations and FOOD!
Our tradition is for hubby to take the day off and we arrive before the doors open into a place where all time is suspended and calories too! We taste and taste again, enjoying new flavors and familiar old ones.
The specials are amazing! I get my Food Show bag and I was going to get one of those wine glasses that sit around your neck and an APRON!!! (I love aprons they make me feel so domestic and sexy at the same time.)
But now it is GONE. For this year.
So to make myself feel better I baked Nutella cookies. Not because I particularly enjoy them, although they are YUMMY. But because my family do.
And when I feel rotten I find the best way to pick me up is to make someone else feel happy. So I have a special plate for a wee 4 year old at school.
After all it's just a SHOW.

Best laid plans....

Having just celebrated my 40th birthday my darling Hubby took Friday & Monday off to extend the festivities. Saturday was my actual birthday and involved lots of lazing around, for me (sheer bliss) while he attended to the mundane household jobs and children.
Friday was my "Ladies Luncheon/Birthday Party" where he was the butler, apron and all. He is a great sport and did a fantastic job making sure that 13 woman were well fed and watered.
MONDAY that was the day we were going to have some special hubby and wife time with four children that is a rarity. Go to lunch, have a coffee and get reacquainted. ALONE!
But of course life has its own twists and turns! Ours being a six year old with a temperature and a sniffle.
Oh I so wanted to be a bad parent and ignore the warm flushed cheeks, red rimmed eyes and trail of tissues that was the wake behind Master 6.
I guess you know that you are growing up when things don't go the way you want to and you don't have a total melt down. I didn't today but I can't promise anything tomorrow.
We didn't get the day we planned BUT we made the best of it. After lunch Master 6 went for a sleep, which was more of a rest as no actual sleeping took place. But he stayed in his room mostly.
We watched a real no brainer DVD, "The Hangover". That was totally inappropriate but amusing at the same time.
It was fun! Not what we planned but we were together which always makes life a brighter place.
One day it will be just Hubby and me jetting around to wherever our fancy takes us...well thats the plan!
Blessings!

Here I am....

A blog. Why create a blog? I'm not really sure! I have always had a diary that I would periodically write in diligently in the first week of January and sporadically through out the year. Usually when things weren't going so great in life and I needed to get all the stuff that was in me out.
Then when I had my first child I kept a journal called "Mommy 101". As a record of my feelings of what this phase of life was like and something that I could pass to my daughter when she became a Mother.
From then on I have been pretty religious about keeping a diary/journal even if it was just scrawling a few lines of what I did that day and whether is was deemed a successful day or one that I would like to turn the page on.
Now I am 40 years old and 1 day. A new stage of life that I want to document...why? For me. For anyone who can relate. Simply to put perspective in and on my life.
I feel like I am facing a new direction in life. I am discovering who I want to be as I grow up. What is truly important and what will outlast me.
Life lays infront of me and I truly believe that I could do whatever I wanted!
What is it that I want?
I love taking care of my family, being the Mommy, the help-meet to my hubby, the CHEF (cooking is a new passion that I am thoroughly enjoying ) and all that goes along with raising four children (aged 16, 13,10 & 6) and running a home.
What gives me the greatest pleasure...blessing others! I have such a sense of fulfillment when I am able to bless someone. It can be feeding people, listening to a friend with a compassionate ear, or just a smile to a stranger! It is those moments that I have the greatest sense of peace. God smiling down on me saying, "Yep, Ang that is the moment I created you for."
So back to this blog thing....I really don't know. But then maybe I'm not meant to. At 40 I have learnt that I actually don't  know lots of reasons WHY but have the peace that this is what I am meant to be doing and that is enough for today.
Blessings!